Momma, Please turn OFF the lights

Frank's "Vacation" Spot

Frank found the only place in the house where Molly can't go . . it seems she's a little too chubby to fit under the bed!!

What on Earth could possibly make Molly look like this:

and this:







and this:









oh and RUN TO HER DADDY, like this:











































wait for it . . . . .

ah yes, a Fisher Price toy meant for an 18 month old baby, not dog. I realized that Molly was terrified of the toy as I was trying to get the battery out. . . you see. . the bear growls and revvs his "engine" and then zooms forward. (I've got to fly on a plane next week with the toy, so I figured I'd try to disable it now instead of later). I decided to see how far it really went, so I put it on the ground which resulted in Molly looking like a cartoon character as she was unable to gain any traction on the wood floor to GET THE HECK AWAY FROM THAT CRAZY THING . . . . take my word for it, it was hysterical!!



So after running to her daddy to protect her, I decided to try and help Molly get over her fears. . . oh. . and also take pictures . . . Please know, that no Schnauzers were harmed in taking these photos . . at this point, the toy was just.sitting.there. and Molly was still terrified of it. Anyways, she was not getting anymore used to it, leading me to believe that this dog is going to need some MAJOR therapy in a few years (when our house is filled with beeping, blinking, talking toys).

Anyways, I was super relieved to see that Franklin was at least checking out the toy . . .

Spots

Molly and Frank have their "spots" . . where you can nearly always find them . . sleeping, chewing on toys, being their cute selves etc.

Molly's favorite spot is at the top of the couch looking out the window. This allows her to track all cars coming in and out of the neighborhood, as well as the dogs going on walks in the neighborhood. Ryan says that this is a Schnauzer trait and tries to limit her stalking time by putting the window shade down. Apparently, he had a Schnauzer named Muffin who chose the chair in the living room as her "spot" and became so lazy she was nicknamed Sweatpants. Seriously. So if this is the precedent that has been set, I can totally understand why Ryan restricts Molly's stalking time. Also, Molly likes to "talk" to those walking by . . and then Frank likes to join in. So I know when all the neighborhood dogs go on walks and when the kids get let out from the elementary school down the street. OH and she also snots up the window . . . I figured that if we never cleaned it, she wouldn't be able to see out the window and then wouldn't bark at every freaking thing that was out there . . but Ryan thinks its gross and he cleans it every few days. Ugh! Here is Molly in her spot:

Frank's spot is near people. Usually that is with me, but when I am busy, he chooses others . . case in point, the following pictures. I felt bad that Franklin was sleeping directly on the floor, so I decided to move his dog bed closer to me, and of course put his favorite blanket there. He might be spoiled.

Franklin loves little kids and Zoe loves Franklin, so this combination works out pretty well, especially when his blanket is involved. :)

And here Franklin decided to snuggle with Ryan . . . everyone, together now "aawwwwww".

Haircuts

So the other day Frank and Molly went to Petsmart to get groomed. Of course both of them were very excited as they pranced/pulled/ jumped (on their hind legs) into the front door. The excitement turned to fear as they realized that they were not here to get toys or food, but their hairs cut. Once we stepped inside the grooming room, Molly sat at the door, ready to dash when/if the door opened . . and I'm sure hoping that she could teleport herself anywhere but at the Petsmart Salon. Franklin on the other hand proceeded to repeatedly tug the leash, as if to say "quick!! we can still make a run for it". During these shenanigans, I was repetedly spelling my (old) last name and trying to point out my dogs' appointments in the book, while trying to pretend that they, indeed, do want to be there.

So four hours later I returned to pick them up. The standard proceedure is to pick up the invoice, pay at the register and then return to get your dogs (for those of you who haven't been priveledged with the Petsmart Salon experience). Now keep in mind that I have been going to this Petsmart for over four years . . . . I returned to the chipper dog groomer saying that Molly and Frank were great and was given a report card. A report card?! I wish I had scanned them before I lost them . . . (maybe Molly shredded them?!) Somehow both of them got rave reviews ( I think its a conspiracy so that I keep bringing them back).

I hear some barking behind the swinging door. . I smile at the sweet old woman picking up her "Charlotte" dog.. . and said "ohh those must be mine" . . . she looked at me with a pitiful, yet sweet, look. Barrelling out of the swinging door come Frank and Molly as if they had been through various forms of torture for the past few hours. Most shockingly, Franklin came out with a bandana. Yes, a bandana!!! You see, the standard package at Petsmart does come with a bandana and cologne, but years ago I requested that he not get either because people already think he's a girl.

Anyways, here's a picture of them after their glorious haircuts. Don't be jealous.

The Lure

So Molly loves to spend time outside and loves to dilly dally, especially in the morning when I gotta go somewhere (sometimes I do go to the office!!). Because I am typically in work shoes (in the morning) or in bare feet if I'm just hanging around the house, I rarely want to trek through the "present"-filled yard. So I have tried many different ways to get her to come inside. Calling her name doesn't work. Even when she doesn't have an ear infection. I've tried shaking her food bowl. Nope. I've tried opening the garage door (she loves to get in the car. . . most of the time I have to drag her out, but she still hasn't caught on). Because of her digestive issues we had to pitch all of the dog treats months ago. Tried squeaking toys. But she's more interested in barking her boyfriend two yards over or smelling rabbit doo doo. So that's what led me to . . . . Rice Chex. Now in most households feed a dog human food would not be that unusual, however, Ry and I have taken much pride in the fact that our dogs do.not.eat human food.

In an attempt to add a little variety to my husband's (still weird to say) cereal selection, I bought him Rice Chex (he's a healthy eater). About a month ago he told me, "you know, I really don't like Rice Chex. I am not ever going to eat that box". But seeing as I don't really eat cereal, I didn't actually do anything about the 3/4 full box on the shelf. I just let it sit. Until one day, none of my tricks were working. I tried them ALL . . to no avail. So I decided that it would be harmless to shake the cereal box. Somehow Molly is very interested in people food (she couldn't have picked that up at her cousin's house, hmmm?) even though WE've never fed her anything. Well of course shaking the box was enough for her little ears to perk up and her to make a mad dash to the door. So I'd get her in and shut the door without giving her anything. (I didn't actually show her the cereal and she's never eaten a box (only books, remember?), so I didn't think she'd be that disappointed . . . . and don't dogs have a really short memory span??). Well unfortunately she's not that dumb. She caught on pretty fast. Soon I had to show her the cereal to get her to come in. And then I just felt plain old guilty when I put it back in the box. So one day, I gave her (and Franklin) a little taste. I figured since it was such a plain cereal, a few bits wasn't going to harm their digestive systems. Well this morning, I decided that I would actually try a bit of it while I was waiting for her (we've got over half a box left). . . . needless to say father time has not been kind to the cereal and there is no way that Ryan will ever want to try another bowl of it now. They still think it is amazingly scrumptious . . . so let's hope Ry never decides to clean out the pantry . . he still doesn't know our little secret. ;)

iPhone Update 2

Hey folks. . . . here are some more pictures from the past few months of Frank & Molly

Looks like Frank is saying "Geesh can't you both just leave me alone?!"

We went to the indoor dog park and Franklin became friends with Ellie Mae. All 180 pounds of Miss Ellie. Seriously 180 pounds!

As you can see, Molly's right eyebrow has gotten waayyy out of control.

So the other morning Franklin barfed on the bed. Luckily it was on Ryan's side of the bed and I didn't notice it until Ryan saw it (he wasn't in the bed). As I was putting new sheets on the bed, he found this comfortable position to observe my manual labor.